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Laundry Stages Protest

Laundry Drying by Peter Griffin

A wardrobe gathered today in front of the Delbert Jones residence in North Wichita to protest cruel and inhumane treatment of clothes by the family. A spokesman for the group, a pink shirt, claims the Jones family routinely subjects their clothing to a combination of water torture in a medieval device known as "The Washer", and the excessive heat of a clothes dryer.

"I used to be red," the shirt stated with obvious passion. "But thanks to the despicable actions of this family, I have faded." The shirt went on to say that this is not an isolated incident. This type of abuse takes place every day all around the world.

"We're going to hang around here until we bring attention to the plight of our fellow garments," a pair of boxer shorts said. The rest of the laundry gave a rallying cry. Violence nearly broke out but was quelled by a Sunbeam Electric Combination Iron & Steamer.

We will keep you updated on this developing story.

-filed by I.M. Lieeng, roving reporter

Thanks to Peter Griffin for use of his photo