wodke-hawkinson.com Blog Musings from deviant minds (Or how writers think)


Volcano To Be Arrested

Offensive Volcano

Mount Bromo, a volcano in Indonesia, is spewing plumes of smoke and ash into the air. Not only is the volcano causing pollution and disrupting flight schedules due to visibility issues, it has refused to work with negotiators or mitigate its behavior in any way.

Law Enforcement Responds

The EPA has sent officers to confront the volcano and arrests are expected soon. When asked how the volcano will be remanded into custody, the EPA officials were baffled. "We don't exactly have that part figured out yet," one anonymous source told this reporter, "but we can't disregard this blatant criminal action on the part of any natural element. Next thing you know, rivers will go where they want and winds will blow where they may. No, we've got to nip this in the bud right now. This volcano is just simply being rude." Questions of whether an arrest was the best approach to the problem met with this snippy response, "Well, we can't exactly pull its panties down and spank it, can we?"

I then asked if he thought the volcano was contributing to environmental concerns, and he rolled his eyes. "Of course! You're probably too young to remember, but eruptions such as these used to lead to global cooling. Then they led to global warming, you know. Now they mainly lead to climate change. But no matter what you call it, it's destructive and it's a demonstration of poor manners on the part of the volcano."

"How about rehabilitation programs?" I queried.

"Not in this case," he fumed. "Statistics show that doesn't work."

When questioned about jurisdictional problems that might arise from the arrest of the volcano by the USA's EPA, he refused to answer. More on this story as it develops.

Filed by: Ima Lyer, freelance reporter


Book Trailer for Tangerine by Wodke Hawkinson


Authors Den Book Factory – a New Alternative for Self-Published Authors

Authors Den recently announced a new publishing venue for the self-published author. BookFactory offers authors a way to publish their books and garner more of the sales income for themselves. According to Authors Den, this new program allows the writer to keep all the money from book sales, minus the printing costs only. Not only is this site competitive with publishers like lulu.com and amazon.com, but it purports to have a much better profit margin for writers.

Besides offering a self-publishing program, Authors Den also features a bookstore where writers can market their books. I recently ordered a book from them because I want to see for myself the quality of the finished product. I would encourage all lovers of literature to check out self-published authors. It's a rapidly blossoming market with much to offer to readers.


I’ll Do It Tomorrow

Someday is not a day of the week.  ~Author Unknown


Procrastination. What a word. I hate to procrastinate but, unfortunately I am not Robinson Caruso. I can’t get everything done by Friday. I promised myself that I would post something on me and my co-authors blog every single day. Well, here it is, a week into a new year and I haven’t made a post since before Christmas. Procrastination. What a word. So, once again, I am promising myself not to follow the despicable words definition. I will post daily. And, no, this post does not count. It is just a way for me to lament my wasted days. My post for the day is under Wodke Ruminates. Enjoy and I’ll see you tomorrow. (I hope.)